Monday, July 17, 2017

My soul sings...

When I look at this little boy, I see a little soul that is singing.  Even in the nightmarish place that he is in, he is smiling and laughing.  I can't help but believe that God is smiling in return....He must know what a gift this boy will be.   What a blessing He will be bestowing.

Look at this little man. Look at how thin he is.  This is not due to his arthrogryposis.  This is a little boy who is hungry.   He is hungry for more than just adequate food.  He is hungry for love, for touch, for attention, for stimulation....for a family.  He needs to know that he BELONGS to someone.  That this is not just a passing moment in which someone's attention is focused on him.


My understanding is that he has been listed before.  He is now 7 years old.  7 YEARS OLD, without a family or even adequate care.  He is in an Eastern European country.  One that has a very easy dossier and pretty easy guidelines. 

To learn more about him, contact Judy at Global Adoptions - .

Please, if he is not your son, please plead with our Father in Heaven to open the doors for a family to find him soon.  Time is not the friend of these children - it is a vicious enemy.  It steals and destroys day in and day out.  As sure as the sun rises and sets.

Please, my Lord, please bring this one that makes my soul sing to a family.  You are able.  You are faithful.  You are good.

Thursday, April 6, 2017


China has denied us permission to adopt Nora even though they granted us pre-approval this summer.  They have changed their rules regarding family size and have made it retroactive.  As a country, they get to make these decisions, I just never thought they would not honor their word.

I just don't know how to break through the wall that is in place right now between my words and my broken heart.  I can't even begin to put into words how much this hurts.

This wasn't just a denial regarding a child we only had pictures and paperwork for.  This was a denial of a child that we have held and loved.  She was in our home.  We were told we could adopt her.  We have prepared for months to bring her home.  I have her favorite dresses.  I have a dresser full of clothes.  I have her notebooks full of scribbles.  I even have pages of scribbles in my prayer journal as she wanted to "help" me write in the notebook she saw me with so often.

I am just trying to keep one foot moving in front of the other.  I have many, many precious children that need me - and I treasure them even more now - but it still doesn't replace this precious child of my heart.

I haven't done well with the blog recently anyway, but I am stepping away from it for now.  I am sure that God will press me forward again with it but for now I hurt too much.  There is no way to escape the pain, so just like with my darling Brooke, I will just have to trust Him to carry me through the darkness.

I will post the link here when her profile is put up on Reece's Rainbow and The Shepherd's Crook.  I beg God for another family for her.  I know He loves her more than I do.   Please pray for this amazing girl.  Heaven will be that much sweeter some day because I will finally hold her again.

Here is the link for Reece's Rainbow.  She would qualify for a $15,000 grant through RR - this would be an amazing gift to a family!  

God is always perfect.  He is always good.  This hurts.  This hurts so badly.  But it does not change His goodness or perfection - it just points out my lack of it.

Thy Will be done.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Still here.......!

I can't believe it has been 2 1/2 months since my last post!  As I have said before, if it gets really quiet on the blog, God is usually keeping us really busy.

There is so much to say, but so little time.  Some will have to be shared at a later time.  I just know that people have been checking to be sure that we are okay.....and we are.

It has been a long stretch of sickness including strep throat, walking pneumonia, and the flu.  So many trips to urgent care and a long hospital stay for one.  Hard weeks....but always more than worth it for my precious kiddos.

We have sent our dossier to China for Nora.  I am counting the moments until we can get that precious girl home again.  With all the political uproar over the new president, we are even more anxious to get her home.

We requested to add a second little girl with Apert Syndrome to our adoption - a beautiful little girl that needs the medical care that is available here......and China said no.  We appealed it....and they still said no.  It turns out that we were the beginning of a tightening of regulations in China regarding their adoptions.  No families with over 10 kids (including the adopted child), no waivers for income, etc.  This really crushed me.  I knew that eventually it would come, but I always prayed it would not be with a specific child already on my heart - even though I knew we wouldn't ask if we hadn't already fallen in love with another little person.  This was a painful, painful blow.

I am told China does this every few years and then loosens then regulations again.  My heart hurts for all the families being told no.  It hurts even more for all the children that could have had forever families and now will wait in orphanages......maybe for the rest of their lives.  It hurts to know it all and not be able to do anything to help.  My advocacy efforts are not effective that I can tell - I pray that maybe God is using our story to encourage others and more kids are being adopted.  We do know of one family who is adopting because of our precious Brooke's story....I praise the Lord for that one more being saved - but how I have prayed it was ten....and twenty...and more....and more.

Most of our appointments have been cancelled because of sickness and the hospital stay.  The tears are not far from me some nights, but every day is worth it.  Every little upturned face (usually needing a nose wipe!) is worth it.  Every little face that does not willingly look up at me because of their worth it.  They have been declared by the Father as precious in His sight.  Each one is worth every tear, every nose wipe, every desperate cry of my soul.

Pray for little Nora.  Pray for her comfort and safety.  Pray for quick LOA for her.  Pray for quick travel.  Pray for the Lord to bring a new generation of families who don't have 10 kids yet (!) to save more of these children.

Until He comes, I will trust Him.

Oh, and to Randy, who found our blog.  It was a pleasure to talk with you today....and I do assure you that all 19 kids live at home with us. :)  Thank you for your kindness.