Thursday, November 12, 2015

Day by day

The Lord is showing His faithfulness day by day to walk me through the sorrow.  I am missing Brookie even more as we are talking Christmas stockings, celebrations, and thankfulness.  It is almost one year ago that we decided to adopt Brooke and Jillian.  I went into Thanksgiving day with such joy that those beautiful girls were going to be ours.  I am even more thankful now....but oh, how I miss her.  How I would love to have her cuddled on my lap....

But day by day, I keep walking, knowing that someday I will be with her in heaven with our glorious Savior, Jesus Christ.

Jillian is simply amazing.  She is so adorable and smart. Nothing is going to hold this little girl back!  After our initial assessment with our amazing craniofacial team, the doctors were not overly concerned about her skull needing immediate surgery.  We then shifted the goal to getting thumbs for her, along with a few digits for each hand.  But a few days later, the craniofacial nurse called to ask us to have Jillian's eyes checked asap for any pressure on the optic nerves.  (You may remember that the pressure on the nerves was what catapulted Serenity into surgery last fall.)  They got us in last Friday - sure enough, there is pressure on the optic nerves.  Surgery for her skull is set for January 22nd.  I was hoping for thumbs....but obviously this is much more critical.  We will hope for thumbs before summertime now. :)

We are also coming up on the two year mark of Hope and Serenity being home.  I need to pull out the old pictures and do some comparisons.   Serenity, sporting her new glasses, looks so different.   I will need to get pictures.  Once again, the anniversary marks a time of me wrestling with what I had hoped for Hope and where she is at.  Has there been progress? Absolutely!  Is it what I had dreamed of?  No.  Is she better off?  YES!!!   So I need to be content in that.

This will be anti-climatic to some, but we are going forward with Lucy's adoption.  The grief of Brooke's passing was closely followed by the great fear that we would also lose our Lucy girl.  Having her here cemented her in our hearts like nothing else could.   As I said in an earlier post, I had assumed that God had brought her to us so that we wouldn't be tempted to "wait" awhile before the next adoption even though we would be worn out emotionally and financially after getting to the end of the race to get Jillian and Brooke home.  Well, it turned out to be much more - He knew we would want to just tip toe away from adoption and heartache for a while....but we couldn't without leaving our precious Lucy behind.  So here we go....trusting God to provide for all that we will need again.  We should be so excited to watch and see how He provides again, but instead we ache a bit.  Our "faith" muscles are sore from so much exercise....but here we go again.  He is faithful always

I will soon post our list of expenses, but for now our fundraising link at Reese's Rainbow is here and for The Shepherd's Crook is here.  We have completed the homestudy and are waiting on initial USCIS approval.  My prayer is that we can be DTC (dossier to China) by Christmas - this would take God moving things along smoothly and quickly - but is not outside the realm of possibilities because we don't have to redo fingerprints.

God is good.  My heart aches so much still - but as a mama, I don't expect that ache to ever really go away.  I just hope to learn to live with it.

But live goes on by day...birthdays and lovies and buddies...

Thank you for all the love and support.  I needed it....

PS - Still praying for my Angel Tree babies - Rudy and Ginny!

Until He comes....


  1. I am worried about you....God loves you and is sooooo happy with you. You are a great example to us. xo

    1. Thank you so much, Joanne. So many ups and downs emotionally, but He is always faithful!

  2. Me again....are you near Michigan?