Thursday, September 24, 2015

Deep we go again!

TODAY!!!  Today in about 4 hours, my amazing husband and three precious daughters will be home!  It honestly does feel like the end of a long pregnancy - you feel like the end will never come, and then all the sudden, you are about to hold the little one that you have waited so long for!

I will try to send pictures of them at home and give an update.  It will be interesting to see what Brooke and Jillian's reactions will be to all their new brothers and sisters.  Serenity LOVED being surrounded by people. Hope was utterly overwhelmed on every level. Grace loved hearing the voices and being held.  The Prince quickly latched on to his oldest sister and viewed the chaos through the safety of her lap.  Romeo and the Professor were tired and overwhelmed....we shall see what this new day holds.

I am in so much awe of what God has done.  He has blessed the trip so richly for Handsome and Lou (typing out "The Helper" is getting wearisome - so a different nickname...).  They both thoroughly and completely enjoyed this trip - an amazing thing!  Our other adoptions, besides Bulgaria, I would say that it was very interesting and I am glad I went, but I wouldn't say I "enjoyed" the trip.  The pick up trips are very hard - so full of emotion and heartache....Bulgaria was just plain HARD.  I am so thankful for God's gift of this to Handsome and Lou....because they are going back...

For those new to the blog (as the number of viewers have sky-rocketed lately), Handsome and I had wanted to begin another adoption last summer through an agency we had already adopted through several times.  They had a little 10 year old girl with Down Syndrome, called Lucy, that we fell in love with - yes, that IS the way it happens, we fall in love with a picture - led by our Savior.  We were so excited to get started on her adoption along with a little boy in the same orphanage.  Unfortunately, to our shock and surprise, there were things that we no longer saw eye-to-eye with the agency regarding our choices and family.  After a great deal of prayers and tears, we knew that the Lord was leading us elsewhere.  But, the way that the adoptions work from China, we could not adopt Lucy because only that agency had her file. 

The Lord lead us onward to Brooke and Jillian - which we were so excited about - but our hearts hurt for Lucy.  We found out that another family was coming for the little boy - praise the Lord! - but Lucy still waited.  After a series of events last spring in which our hearts were again broken for all the orphans aging out, Handsome told me that he wanted me to find Lucy and see what happened to her.  He said he wanted to go back for her as soon as Brooke and Jillian's adoption was complete.  I told him that we would have to wait at least six months to a year per China's policies.  He said that was fine.  I agreed, but put the idea on the back burner.  It seemed so far away - plus, we have talked about "going back" every time we have adopted and then the Lord changes the direction or we are so overwhelmed we need to rest for awhile before our hearts were ready to step out in faith again. just seemed like another idea that would never come to fruition.

About a week later, I got an email about hosting a child.  We had talked about it briefly before committing to Brooke and Jillian, but decided it was not a good "fit" for our family.  I had ended up on the email lists because of it.  I simply deleted the email.  But as I moved on to my prayer time, I really felt I should go back and open it.  When I looked at the kids available for hosting, my mouth fell open.  There she was!  Our LUCY!  My excitement quickly dwindled as I assessed our situation - we were already in the process of adopting.  Our money needed to go to that.  Plus, I just couldn't see Handsome wanting to jump in.  Another HUGE leap of faith....

However, Handsome wanted to start IMMEDIATELY.  I contacted the agency and told them our situation.  They said they would speak with the officials in China and see what they would say.  To our shock and amazement, they said we could begin her adoption immediately upon Brooke and Jillian coming home - they waived the whole 6-12 month wait!  Praise the LORD!.....Gulp.  Wow.  Okay.  Where would the money come from for the hosting fees?  We still had huge adoption bills looming.  Plus, were we really ready to commit to this?  It is one thing to talk about it - a completely different one to jump in.  Kind of like saying, I am pregnant....and I am going to be pregnant again the moment (well really before, if that was possible) the first baby is born....

God provided a family in TX who anonymously paid half of the hosting fees and then He provided through Handsome's business, a friend's gift, and living simply for all that we needed.  It was amazing and difficult all at the same time!

As you know, if you have been following us, Lucy is completely and utterly amazing and adorable.  She fit perfectly into our family and hearts....and then we had to say goodbye.  It was crushing.  It still is.  My daughter lives on the other side of the world right now.  If fact, even more crushing, Handsome was within miles of her during the trip to China and couldn't go see her. :(  It has made these last months a strange tangle of emotions - we are so excited to get Brooke and Jillian home!...but still long for a little girl over there....

We know one of the reasons that the Lord orchestrated this situation this way is that we are tired.,...just like the end of a pregnancy, our human-selves are worn out and longing for rest....we KNOW we would have put Lucy's adoption on the back-burner if we hadn't held her in our arms.  It would be too easy to turn away from a picture for awhile - impossible to do after she has been in our home.  We are so thankful He knows our weaknesses and gives us grace - and a little precious girl - to keep us moving.

So even as the journey to bring Brooke and Jillian is closing, a glorious chapter of them forever with us begins......and a new journey hits full-swing - to bring our daughter back to us forever.  We have already been juggling paperwork for both adoptions.  Now I get to close one folder and just focus on the other.

In some ways, this is so much easier because we know the treasure that waits at the end for other ways, it is so much more difficult because we are worn out still from the last battle to save two precious lives.  And it is a battle.  The trust and faith in our Lord and His promises has to be so much greater....for the strength and finances that we do not have right now.

What cost is too great to save a life?  I know every single one of you would do everything in your power to save a life right in front of wouldn't even think of the costs involved....but it is easy to turn away from a picture and a few words....We know there are little precious lives behind each picture and each story...but the weariness and unknowns can quickly drown out the cry for help.  We cannot praise the Lord enough for encouraging us to keep running the race set before us...


Until He comes....

1 comment:

  1. Oh wow, praise God! This is so exciting! I pray that everything will go smoothly with Lucy's adoption process! Also I am so excited to see Brooke and Jillian in their new family!