There are days, like the last few days, that I wrestle with my own desires....my own human plans...my own human dreams. I make plans in my head all based around me and my tired, weary heart. I make them for several days, imagining the relief I will have when they come to pass....
Then my precious Savior gently reminds me that I am not my own, that I was bought at an infinite price and that He is not done....
I can only put my hand in His and bow my head, ashamed I have forgotten again that I am not here for me.....even as my emotions rage around this submission.
Today, these are the words rattling around in my heart - bringing comfort, yet also conviction...
If God has called you to be really like Jesus He will
draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility. God’s call will put
such demands of obedience on you that you will not be able to follow
other people, or measure yourself by other Christians. At times, He will
people do things which He will not let you do.
Other Christians who seem very religious will push themselves, pull
wires, and work schemes to carry out their plans. You cannot, and if you
attempt it, you will meet with failure and rebuke from the Lord.
Others may boast of themselves, of their work, of their successes, but
the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you
begin it, He will lead you to despise yourself and all your good works.
Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, or may have a legacy
left to them, but it is likely God will keep you poor. God wants you to
have something far better than gold, namely, a helpless dependence upon
Him, that He may demonstrate His faithful love for you in supplying your
needs day by day.
God may let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hidden in
obscurity in order to produce some fragrant fruit for His coming glory
which can only be produced in the shade. He may let others be great, but
keep you small. He may let others do a work for Him and get the credit
for it now. The reward for your work is held in the hands of Jesus and
you will not see it until He comes.
The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you with a jealous love. He
will rebuke you for the little words and feelings or for wasting your
time. So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a
right to do as He pleases with His own. He does not owe you an
explanation of these mysteries. But if you give yourself to be His
child, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and give you the precious
blessings for those who belong, heart and soul, to Him.
Settle it forever, then, that you are to deal directly with the Holy
Spirit. It is His option to tie your tongue, or chain your hand, or
close your eyes in ways that He does not seem to use with others. And
when you are so possessed by the living God that your heart delights
over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and
management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the
vestibule of Heaven.
What is your only comfort in life and death?
That I am not my own, but belong, body and soul, in life and in death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.
He has fully paid for all my sins with His precious blood, and He has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.
He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my
head without the will of my Father in heaven. In fact, all things must
work together for my salvation.
Because I belong to Him, Christ, by
His Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly
willing and ready from now on to live for Him.
Until He comes, may He always break me....