Monday, July 7, 2014

Grace's Surgery and EFBF

What a month has gone by since my last update!  Almost every morning I think, "Today I will update the blog!"  And then another day goes by....or I decide that maybe what I would write that day would be worthless because I was so tired physically and emotionally.

The good news is that Grace's surgery is done and was successful!  Praise the Lord.  She went in on Monday the 30th and came home on the 3rd.  Handsome had to stay with her because there is no way I could do it with Little Man.  It is hard for him to be away from work for even a few days, so I am very thankful he was able to do this. 

Grace will be in a half-body cast for at least 4 weeks, poor baby.  The doctor decided that the second hip did not need to be operated on, so we are also very thankful for that.  She did much, much better at the hospital with Daddy than she did with me in November for the g-tube.  Again, God knows best.  I was pretty frantic that I was not the one staying but with cell phones if the nurses needed to ask a question, it went very smoothly.

She had to have a special car seat and we have to be careful on how we position her at home.  Her pain meds are also critical at this point.  We were a little late this morning and she was hurting.  It broke my heart.  Please continue to pray for her.  That she heals quickly and well.  Pray for us as we maneuver through the next few weeks with the cast.  The day(s) right after the cast is taken off will also be incredibly hard....so many prayers would be appreciated.

In the meantime, I am suffering with EFBF - Extremely Fussy Baby Fatigue.  This is a condition in which your baby is so fussy that you are worn out body and soul.  It quickly develops a partnering condition of EFBA - Extremely Fussy Baby Anxiety.  This is when your baby is so fussy that you have to strategically plan everything - including things like how to go to the restroom - around your baby's screaming.  When you look at everything you have to do through the lens of, "How do I do this with one hand?" while bouncing your fussy baby with the other hand.  Both can be downright debilitating.

Yes.  Right after my last blog post, my content baby turned into our typical extremely fussy baby.  I had forgotten how hard this is.  I am just not hard-wired right to handle a screaming baby - it just completely undoes me.  Don't get me wrong, we do let him cry. We have to in order to keep life moving here, but it is just not something that I am able to get used to.  Our hardest time right now is at night when I need to feed and rock Mimi to sleep.  By the time I lay her down, I am wiping back the tears at hearing him cry in the other room - as well as feeling so badly for Handsome, The Warrior, or The Testy Chef - whoever has the turn of trying to walk/bounce him until I can come get him.  By the time I have him back, I am so wound up that I cannot sleep....leading to more Fussy Baby Anxiety! 

So right now, even the most mundane like showering, using the restroom, folding laundry, and cooking has become epic in proportion. However, because this is our ninth or tenth kiddo like this, I do know that it is just a season.  That eventually (with some a little over a year) this too shall pass.  I am so in love with this Little Man and so thankful for this precious gift my Savior gave to me that I cry over him daily.  Even during such a hard, hard time, I know that I have been blessed beyond measure - far beyond what I could ever have imagined.  I know this seems contradictory to some, but it is the truth.  It is a huge struggle to get through the days, yet I am so filled with joy over him.

My precious family did go camping in mid-June.  The Helper and The Testy Chef (my two oldest daughters) stayed home with me and the "Little 5" to help and to finish their schoolwork.  It was a really difficult week with Little Man and trying to keep the other four well taken care of so the girls could study.  BUT the amazing thing to me - though some of you will laugh - is how QUIET it was (other than Little Man!).  I could not believe it.  I just soaked it in every day.  In addition, a completely amazing thing happened - something I was told was true, but had seriously doubted over the years...when I had a few seconds to clean something...it STAYED clean.  Really!  Did you catch that?  It STAYED clean.  I have to say, as silly as it sounds, this did give me some hope for the distant future.  I might, just might, have a clean house some day....ah, bliss!

The week after, my two oldest girls took a trip to Colorado with their Bible quiz team.  The Helper's team took second in the nation and she was personally the third highest quizzer in the nation!  I am so proud of them both!  While they were playing and getting a much deserved break, Handsome, The Warrior, and I had to hold down the fort at home.  These are really tiring days!  The day after they got home was Grace's surgery - so the team at home shifted again to the Big 3 kids and I while Handsome was in the hospital with Grace.

This morning, my Big 3 are headed off to youth camp.....Can I say that I am really dreading this week?  I don't think any of them read my blog regularly, but I won't post this until they are gone...two of the three have offered repeatedly to stay home and help me.  It makes my Mama's heart melt at their kindness, but there is no way I am going to let one of them stay home.  Their youth group is an amazing group of kids and leaders and they deserve the break!  But....I am still dreading this week.  After the Big 3, I have three 10 year old boys, an 8 year old girl, and a 7 year old boy.  I am realizing more and more that they just have not been expected to learn/do the same things as the Big 3 because they are so capable....so this is a good week to really work on some training.  I have realized, especially with the boys, that there really seems to be a 'you-got-it-or-you-don't' gene for taking care of smaller kids - and I get that.  I don't expect them all to be kid-helpers.  But I should be able to say, "Will you take care of ______?" and have it get done.  Hmmmm, another area to work on.   Regardless, I would so appreciate prayers for this week.

Once the Big 3 are back, life still stays busy for July.  Lots of doctors' appointments and Serenity has her surgery for tonsils, adenoids, and ear tubes the end of this month.  Another extended family camping trip in there as well.  I just keep praying that although I am exhausted (EFBF and EFBA), that my kids are loving their summer and will be filled to the brim by the time we need to focus on school again.  Praying for the strength for today....and tomorrow...and the next day....

Here are a few photos for fun:
Hope playing

Serenity with Grandpa!

Hope with Smiley and The Boss

Hope on her hands and knees!!!

Hope with Grandma

Mimi with Grandpa

The Testy Chef with Little Man

Grace and Little Man

The Boss

The Warrior with Little Man

Serenity (She is so easy to get fun pictures of!)

Little Man

The Helper and Serenity (both addicted to selfies).


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