Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Quick update

I have been terrible about updates lately.  I am sorry!  Life has just been busier than normal as I try to finish up everything (ha, ha okay, not everything, but as much of everything as I can!) before we start school again.

We also had to add to the "You know you are adopting when..." list by having to replace the roof AND the furnace on the house.  At least I will be able to go into fall and winter knowing we will be warm and protected.  I am also still trying to get the worst of the siding painted.  God helped by sending the furnace man "Jack" - who threw in painting our garage as a bonus to the furnace contract.  Yep, my guardian angel's name is "Jack" - a tall cowboy-type with a big heart.  He disguises himself as a furnace guy, but I know better. ;-)

Grace had her first Botox injections this morning for her stiff fingers, wrists, elbows, and peck muscles.  I was pretty nervous taking her in.  Everything we have done with Mimi medically is always complicated and the "worst" case scenarios.  I wasn't sure how to handle in by 8 am and out by 10am!  We should be seeing results in a few days.  I am so excited to see if it changes her world a bit.  With her hands relaxed, I want to get some sensory exploration going - see if we can widen her world a bit. :)  God is so good.

A good belly laugh with Daddy. 

Loving the swing with our therapist

Look at me lift up my chin!  Mama was SO happy!

Another good belly laugh.  What a treasure!
Her first time in the pool!  She was a little nervous at first but then LOVED it!

Happy, happy, happy.

We are still waiting for signatures and court dates for Serenity and Hope.  My heart breaks just a little more each day as I know they are still waiting for freedom.  I miss them so badly it hurts.  Praying for God to move things according to His perfect plan.

Still wrestling with emotions over the little ones left behind.  What would God have us do?  Are we to go back?  Is He closing the doors?  How much do we push?  How much do we just be "still"?

Here are a few reminders of precious treasures who need homes....please pray for them to be redeemed.

 Precious Darlene

A treasure named Joshua

Sweet Tina

Sweet Brandi

And my little Millie

UNTIL HE COMES....To Him be all glory and honor!

Monday, August 5, 2013

Just keep movin' on...

A song by an ancient Christian band (Mylon Lefevre) keeps running through my head lately ~

I opened up my heart
As Your Spirit moved inside
You wanted all of me
I gave in willingly
But before too long
The feelings were all gone
I had to walk by faith
And faith alone

So I'll just keep moving on
I can't stay here too long
Cause the road I'm on
Is leading to Your throne
I'll just keep moving on
Cause I know before too long
You will come and take me home

I cannot number all
The thoughts that rush my mind
I need to learn to wait
And not anticipate
I can hardly wait
Until that final day
You hold me in Your arms
Safe from harm


Just keep moving on
Closer and closer
He's calling me home
Little did I know when I was a young teenager listening to that song, how true it would feel so many years later.
Life does just keep moving on - I have to keep moving on for my family and my precious husband.  The days are FULL.  Fencing to put up, a house that needs painted (okay, I am actually hoping to just  have one side painted before summer is over), bunk beds to paint and build before our newest treasures come home, pages and pages of bookwork for Handsome's business, organizing more space for Handsome's business, finishing the last of the 'stacking" spots from when we moved just before Grace came home, homeschool schedules to put together, Fall/Winter wardrobes to assess, a new dog to settle in, and oh, I so want to work on the front flower bed/grass to have a clean safe place for Mimi to be on the ground outside.  I know I am forgetting half the list, but that is enough to overwhelm for the moment. :)

I truly believe that work is a good and right thing.  God gave Adam and Eve work to do in the garden before the Fall.  It is good to have a purpose in each day and to go to bed tired at night.  One of my favorite places of all time was my grandparents' farm.  There was always work to do, but they never complained.  They got up before the sun with anticipation for the day.  They worked hard, ate big meals, and rested when the day was done.  Tired, but content.  My work is a joy, because it is what my Savior has asked me to do. 

However, as I move through my busy day, part of my heart is always far away.  Wondering what my girls are doing...are they eating well?  Are they sick?  Are they being mistreated?  Do they remember me?  When, oh when, can I go get them?  I also think of the others left behind with no mama aching for them each moment of the day.  Will He call us to save more?  Who do we save?  Before I went to the country, I could look at the pictures and say, "I would save this one first, then this one..."  Now, I look at the little faces and think, "How can I possibly choose?  Whoever I don't choose is doomed to a hellish existence."  I know that is not right when I take into account God's Sovereignty - but my heart is still raw.  Much like muscles that were exercised too hard for too long.  My heart and my feelings wobble instead of conforming to what I know to be true.

Right now we are waiting for signatures as our dossier moves around the government department in that country.  However, I was told again last night that if we do not have signatures by the end of this week, we will be stuck for weeks, because the government shuts down for a "holiday".  This is heartache beyond compare.  It would move travel dates from early to Oct to mid Nov.  It is easy to see that as a short period of time.  But for these girls and these conditions, it is not a tiny delay.  God's Hand is in all things - I will trust Him - but my heart still hurts to think of this. 

So, I just keep moving on.  I am thankful for each day and for Handsome.  I kiss and direct my kiddos, I tackle my "to do" list(s), and I pray for my girls and the others as I move through the day.  The hardest time of the day is when all is finally quiet after Grace's last feeding around 10:30 p.m.  I would no longer say I have "nightmares", I would say I just know.  There is a Knowing of what is happening overseas.  A Knowing that children lay in their filth in cribs, unloved and unwanted.  A Knowing that if these children were in a family, their lives would be miraculously different.  The Knowing is worse than any nightmare because with a nightmare you can wake up and know it is not true.  The horrific thing about Knowing is that is IS true, every little fact, it is far worse.

So many have said that they are praying for us.  I would love to ask for specific requests on our behalf.  Please pray for us as parents - that we have wisdom and kindness and patience with each of our precious gifts.  Pray for God's mighty provision to continue in abundance - as our needs increase, His provision increases.  Pray for Mimi and Grace - that we are able to fill their time with love and with challenges to help them grow and blossom even more, God willing.  Pray for the paperwork for Serenity & Hope - that God moves it along at His perfect time and that I have peace and joy in whatever He has chosen.  Pray for Handsome and I as we wrestle over the next step.  Is He calling us to redeem more?  I trust that He will shut the doors when this time in our life is done - but the wrestling to be patient as we wait for His direction wears my heart out most days.  Pray that we are of one heart and mind as to where we go from here.

I have one personal prayer request that may seem a little silly, but it is something I struggle with yearly.  It is very hard on me when the days get shorter and the skies turn gray.  I love autumn's colors.  I love celebrating Thanksgiving and Christ's birth.  I love the routine that school brings back to our lives.  I have plenty to look forward to - but the gray, dark days hang about my soul like a damp blanket I can't shrug off.   I promised myself in April that I would have the walls in the main living areas painted a bright, cheerful color before autumn came again - but then real life happened!  I know this seems very, very silly - but each year the struggle has gotten harder.  I have become fascinated with themes of seasons - the promise to me that by His Hand and design, the dark days of winter do turn to spring again.  He never leaves or forsakes us.  I am planning candles and brighter light bulbs - comforting teas and cocoa and plenty of time before my Savior - resting in His light and grace.  If you are willing to pray for my heart during this time, I would so appreciate it.

To Him be all glory, honor, and praise.

Until He comes....