Thursday, January 31, 2013

Redemption Whispers, anyone?

I am always amazed at the responses when someone posts on the adoption forum that I read, "Which orphan is special to you?"  There are some kiddos from Reece's Rainbow that are favorites to just about everyone.  But then, after those few, the variety is amazing!  God lays different children on each person's heart.  Some I look at and I think, "That little face wouldn't have even stood out to me."  Yet, to that person, it is the most beautiful little face they have ever seen! 

I am always so thankful for each little one who has someone that is absolutely crazy about them.  Sometimes it turns out that God is whispering the word redemption to them, but they don't realize it until later.  I have learned to praise my Savior for every time I have heard those redemption whispers.  It is like the moment you just find out you are pregnant - you are so in awe and so in love, even though you have never seen that little one face to face.
But I am even more amazed at those advocating for little ones that they don't even have the hope of adopting.  It is one thing to shout for a child while thinking, "Maybe I am her Mama.  Maybe God made him for me."  There is a hope to fuel their shouting.  But those that shout for these little ones that they know they cannot adopt - that is truly sacrificial love. 
My oldest daughter loves little Sonny.  He is in a country that just recently closed its doors to Americans adopting....and we wouldn't qualify to adopt him anyway.  But how she loves him....her love and prayers for him have rubbed off on all of us....

Sonny will always have a place on our wall and in our hearts.  We will pray and shout until he is finally found!
Just recently, God pressed another little face on my heart.  Honestly, I had seen her little face  before, but I hadn't really stopped to see her.  It hurts very much to look at so many precious faces and stop long enough on each one to think, "This is a little LIFE.  A little SOUL.  She has hopes and dreams and tears."  The heartbreak is just too much to take for long.
Here is little Millie:
She is 8 1/2 years old.  She is in a mental institution in an EE country.  Why?  Because she has Down Syndrome.  Yep, her only crime is that she was born with an extra chromosome.  In her country, parents are pressured to give their extra special kiddos over to the government to "care" for them.  But in reality, they are sent to places where no one may care at all....or those who are supposed to care for them abuse them instead.  In horrific ways. 
It sounds like Millie is in a relatively "good" institution - but it is all relative.  It does not even mean that she is well cared for - it is just that they are not known for abusing the children.  She does not speak and is considered very low functioning - but honestly, that is probably due to being in an institution all her life.  All eight lonely years.  Why speak if no one talks back?  Why would her little mind grow with no stimulation? 
My heart just aches for these little ones.  I have a hard time with even the tiniest of hurts for my children....yet here are children that have no hope.  They don't even know that there is such a thing as a loving family.  I could not go on long without hope - yet these children do not know anything but endless days in the same rooms.  Rooms that smell of uncared for bodies and nasty food and dirty sheets and clothes.  Some may not even have a window.  Many, many never leave their cribs.
Please stop and pray for each of these little ones...choose your "favorite" and start praying...maybe you, too, will hear a redemption whisper!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Your Will, not my own.

How many times I have prayed this ~ Your perfect will be done, not my own ~ these last months!  Almost a year now...I would have to check my old prayer journal to be sure.  So many times I have had to still my frantic heart, quiet my anxious thoughts and just be still...knowing He is God and He is perfect and good.
So many times I have begged Him to speed up the process to get my precious girl home!  Yet so many times He tells me to just trust.  In His grace, He has shown me glimpses of a plan that is truly "exceedingly more than I could ever ask or imagine."  (Ephesians 3:20)  I cannot wait to share all that God is doing...yet I must wait awhile longer as His plan unfolds.
Knowing all that He has done this past year, it would be assumed that I could wait and rejoice in each delay, knowing He will use it fr His purposes...yet, here I am tonight, struggling to be still and quiet once again.
 We got word today that Grace's arrival is being delayed by some in the process who are not cooperating.  She is ours, that does not change, but all of the necessary paperwork and appointments are being delayed.  Now I can only hope and pray I will be traveling by the first of March.  If it was just a little more waiting, I could easily still my heart, but her delay also affects other very important things that God has set in motion... 
Such heartache!  Yet I am told to rejoice always and pray without ceasing.  To give thanks in all circumstances, knowing this is Christ's Will for us. (See 1 Thessalonians 5)  These are the Lord's plans - so who am I to say anything?  I pray for His protection over all He has set before us - and pray for the faith to wait quietly for His perfect plan to be revealed....
To Him be all glory, honor, and praise!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Standing in awe

We finally got THE phone call today!  THE phone call to tell us that Grace is officially ours!  PRAISE GOD!  To Him be all glory, honor, and praise!
I am standing kneeling in awe over God's sovereign Hand.  Only He could say to a couple - who need His grace every single moment - "I have a gift for you.  It is a gift that most will not understand the value of.  She has waited for over 4 years for you - because I made her for you.  I made her very uniquely - and she has been abused by those who were supposed to care for her - I am asking you to be My arms to hold her close.  For you to be My audible words saying, "You are fearfully and wonderfully made - you are worth every price of redemption."  I want you to be the ones to tenderly wipe every tear and soothe away years of hurt.  I want you to be a reflection of My love."
I am in awe that He would do this even as my faith began to falter.  I finally "hit the wall" with waiting this weekend - I began to doubt and fear.  Yet, even in all of my faithlessness, He is faithful.
God is doing amazing things....I cannot wait to share them.  I stand in awe of His grace and His power.
He is worthy to be praised!  I am forever grateful for His redemption and His grace!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Waiting....and waiting some more....

I keep trying to post something....I am always really disappointed when I check the blogs I like and there is nothing new.....

I have mentally written a post several times about the situation with Russia and all the ignorant comments I have read all over the news sources.  People really don't understand.  But every time I am inspired to write, I have other things I need to be doing.

Now I have another round of some kind of virus causing a headache and I am not sure my words would come out very measured or gracious.  So best skip that for now. ;-)

We are in the middle of another round of "intense waiting".  Just like only those who live in Seattle understand the difference between "rain" and a "rain shower"....only those adopting know the difference between regular "waiting" and "intense waiting"! 

We are always waiting in an adoption...waiting for paperwork, waiting for a phone call, waiting for the notary, waiting for fingerprints, waiting for the next report, etc......more, more, more waiting.  But just like a pregnancy, you do get to a point in which you should be almost done.  Like it could happen any day.  Unfortunately, unlike a pregnancy, no one is going to step in and help things along if it goes on too long!

We are at that point that we should be hearing at the very least that Grace's adoption is finalized...if not actual travel dates.  We heard that a judge reviewed her case on 12/19.  She had a couple of basic questions that we rushed to answer.  I guess I assumed that we would hear back fairly quickly....even with Christmas and the New Year......

Nope....just the crickets chirping.....

I have gotten to the point -as I do at the end of my pregnancies as well - that I can barely think about anything else.  The day seems to focus on that magic window between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. when we would hear from our agency.  Once that time comes and goes with no phone call or email, it is like all the air has been let out of my balloon and I just want to go back to bed until it is time to check again tomorrow....

Don't get me wrong - I have MORE than enough to do to keep busy for the next few daysweeks, months, um, years.  It just gets very hard to get excited about other things. Here are a few of the projects we tackled in 2012...

 (Yes, two sets of triple bunkbeds....No, the boys had not cleaned their room before the picture was taken...grrrr!)

 I love my kiddos - normally I would just spend my time focused on them but we were cursed blessed with a Wii for Christmas, so it has turned my kids into brainless robots.  YES, they have a very limited time on it (we have limited time on anything that needs to be turned "on")...but it doesn't stop them from not being able to think of anything else but playtime on the Wii.  Oops!  <Place sheepish grin here>  It sounds a lot like me waiting for THE phone call...... ;-)  I guess I should show a little more grace.

Please pray with me....that I am able to wait on my Savior's perfect timing for THE phone call....for health to be able to serve as I should.....grace to show to others....

Until He comes......To Him be all glory, honor, and power!