That was my question a week ago sitting in the ER room.
"What just happened?"
"What does this mean for my family?"
"What does this mean for Serenity & Hope?"
"What does this mean for any thought of adopting again?"
"What...oh, what do You want me to learn from this?"
I laid on an ER bed, not able to see well and not being able to speak clearly. The words came out all wrong, no matter how hard I tried to get them to come out right. My voice was sluggish and slurred. The words were wrong, the voice was wrong, I could not communicate.
As I blinked back tears, I wondered if I would ever speak and see clearly again.
What was God's plan in all of this chaos?
I had a stroke.
I had absolutely no factors that would lead to a stroke. None. Zero. Nada. There is just no other way to say it.
Within 6 hours, I was speaking almost normally and my sight was back to normal. BUT, there was no way the hospital was letting me go until they had some answers. So, I waited. And waited. And waited. For two days. They did a CT scan, an MRI, an MRA, an echo cardiogram, and a "bubble" test. They really wanted to do a TEE (where they send a scope down my throat to see the back side of my heart) but finally knew that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. They finally listened to my pleas and sent me home after
2 + days away from my precious family.
I still don't have a lot of answers. I have a small abnormality with my heart - BUT they don't know if it had anything to do with the stroke. What do I do with that?
At first we thought it might cause issues with Serenity and Hope's adoptions. Nope. (Praise God!) And it probably won't effect any future adoptions either. Really? Okay. Wow.
I have some more appointments on Friday. We are praying we can get a few more straight-forward answers from the new doctors. Is it all a fluke? Do we have something to worry about? Can I go to the country still to rescue my girls?
Because we got our court date!!!!!! November 4th. Please put the night of Nov 3rd on your prayer calendar - that is when our court date is in "real" time. Please pray for His favor and for a decision in our favor.
After that, we will travel in approx 4 weeks. Ouch. Very tough time of year for Handsome. Owning his own retail business, Christmas season is a very important time of the year. But he is so excited about getting his girls home - girls he has only ever seen pictures and videos of, and heard every detail of my visit with them. God has made them his daughters in every sense of the meaning.
Waiting to see what God has in His perfect plan. We are gradually changing from "WHAT?!?" to "Now what do You have for us?" It is a hard change from a human perspective....but so critical to peace.
Pray with us. I will update more as we know more.
Until He comes...