Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Tears and pleas....


Before my daughter, Mimi, was born with special needs, I always thought it would be the hardest to have a newborn in the hospital.  That somehow the pain would be less with an older child, even toddler age...
How naive I was!
Mimi has been in and out of the hospital enough times in her 4 1/2 years and I have found it gets harder, not easier.  Now she knows that pokes are coming and that white coats mean unhappiness for her.  Even at 18 months, she knew she didn't WANT to be in that crib with tubes stuck to her.  I couldn't soothe her with just my voice...she wanted ME!  She wanted OUT!
I think what made it easier when she was younger (relatively speaking - I am talking about a 5% reduction in my angst!) was that she just didn't know....she didn't know what loomed ahead of her.  She didn't know that she was far from home.   She didn't know that I would not be able to pick her up and hold her with her next cry.  She didn't know that this one bad day was actually going to be one of many....
I think that very same reason is why this little guy breaks my heart so very, very badly...a hurt that wakes me up at night for urgent prayer for him.


This is Zack.  This handsome little man is 11 years old.  He is in an Eastern European orphanage.  He has been for all but a few weeks of his life.  Because of CP and scoliosis, he has very limited use of his lower body.  He is mostly confined to a wheelchair, although it appears that he can get up and down stairs using a rail. 
Cognitively though, Zack is just fine.  He is working at a 4th grade level in school (I am not sure what that translates to in the US compared to his country).  He is very inquisitive and loves to interact, especially with adults.  He loves Legos, music, and cars.   He is developmentally and academically on track according to an adoptive mom who has met him several times.
Zack was, up until a little while ago, in a very good orphanage. He was well loved by the staff and well taken care of. His best friend - from infancy - is Maria. Maria was also in a wheelchair, but cognitively normal.

 Zack and Maria on their last day together.
Maria was adopted a few months ago into a wonderful family.....but had to leave Zack behind.  Her "Gotcha Day", which should have been a joyful occasion, was absolutely heartbreaking.  You can read about it here.  I can't even bear to type out the details.  These two friends were in agony over being separated.   I can't even bear to think about it!  Little Maria is doing all she can to get a family for her friend.
As if that was not enough, that very day - THAT VERY MINUTE OF "GOODBYE" - to Maria, Zack was loaded into a car to be transferred to a different orphanage for older children.  Oh, my heart just cannot stand it! His "baby house" was very good - but most older orphanages are as close to hell as you can get on earth....things you don't even want to hear whispered.
But that is not the worst part.  The worst part is that Zack KNOWS.  He knows what a family is and that his friend is now FREE and LOVED unconditionally.  Zack KNOWS that there is life outside of his institution.  He knows there is more than nasty food and inadequate care. He knows a bleak and hellish future is his if he is not chosen and rescued! He knows there are people who love and care for children and call them their own.  He knows what a mama is and that she is full of love and smiles.  He knows all this from watching Maria with her new mama before she took her home to the US.  He and Maria both met with counselors who told them about families and what they mean.  He was desperate to know that his little Maria would be safe, so he was involved in so much of Maria's process.  The worst part is Zack knows....
My precious little Grace not know any of these things...she doesn't know her mama is praying fervently and lovingly for her all hours of the day and night.  She doesn't know that her sisters are picking out her outfits and arranging (and rearranging) her clothes drawers.  She doesn't know that a family means you never cry yourself to sleep alone ever again.  She has never heard of birthday parties and Christmas celebrations.  It doesn't make the urgency to rescue her from the orphanage any less....but it makes it a tiny bit more bearable.  Is there a difference between unbearable agony and almost bearable agony?  She doesn't know....YET....but Zack knows.  What a haunting thought...
With my tears, I am pleading with you to pray for a family for Zack!  Pray that they follow God's leading and are willing to take that leap of faith off the cliff - when they cannot see the bottom.  Pray for Zack's little heart to stay strong.  Pray that someone has introduced Zack to His Father in Heaven.  That Zack knows he is never alone.  Pray....pray......PRAY - and share his story with everyone you know, so that the people of God cover little Zack in prayer, 24 hours a day.
More information about Zack can be found here.  Or you can contact Shelley at shele337@gmail.com. There is a $5100 grant to help with his adoption expenses.
Pray for a family to redeem Zack here on earth and call him their own - just as Christ has redeemed for all of eternity those who believe in Him.  Through Christ, God calls the redeemed His own children.
Until He comes - To Christ be all glory, honor, and praise!

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