Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Flames....


Imagine...You are walking along a street and see that a house is on fire. There are flames pouring out every where! Hot flames...smoke pouring out of every crack and window. You get as close as you can to see if there is someone in the house - only to see the house is FULL of children. Children whose cries you cannot hear -but you just see each of their little faces as the flames are creeping closer, burning holes in their clothing and choking their every breath. You are horrified beyond your wildest nightmares. You start shouting for help to all those passing by. "Help me save these children! Help me get this one, and this one, and this one!'

But to your amazement, people glance at you and walk away. Others say, "I am not equipped to fight fires, I am so sorry. Good luck. I support your efforts." Others wring their hands for a few moments, then say, "There are too many of them. What good will saving one do? It is only one of hundreds. Why try?" Even others say, "Why put your life at risk? Why change your day to help them? What of your own family? They are your responsibility, not these ones." One even had the nerve to say, "God wants to give you good gifts, He wants you happy - this will make your day hard. I can't imagine He would expect you to do this."

Finally, you see a few people running into the house. To your relief, these people are grabbing as many children as they can. They run them out to the arms of the rescuer's family and race back into to grab as many as they can carry. Relief causes tears to stream down your face and you struggle into the flames, darkness, and evil to grab a precious child. It takes so long to get to them! It takes so much energy - you are weary and struggling. You are praying for help with each breath. "God in Heaven, You love these children even more than I do. Help me to do this!" As you are struggling to put one foot in front of the other, you hear a loud mumbling coming from outside the house.  You pause for a moment, but can't take the time to really listen to what is being said by so many people. You even recognize a few of the voices. You are thinking, " I am fighting for this child's life...why aren't they helping me? What are they saying?"

Finally, in desperation, you burst outside. Your face is covered in soot and tears. You are stumbling out in your weariness. You are gasping for breath! But you are triumphant! You look up and see your friends and family. A few are reaching to help you - to restore your strength and tenderly care for this child you rescued. You see a few on their knees and realize that they were praying the whole time you were in the house.  You are filled with joy and your strength is renewed.

Then you glance at the rest of them - those you love and know. You are expecting them to come help this precious child at any moment. But instead, you realize that they are part of the mumbling. You focus on one face after another as you pass this precious life to the arms of those closest to you .....you are getting ready to run in for another child - and another, as many as you can carry in the strength God is giving you. Slowly though, their words start to break through to your mind. And your horror grows...

What are they saying? To STOP? Did they really just say that? You scream over the mumbling that there are still children in there! "Please come help me!", you desperately cry. But their mumbling grows to shouting. They say that they could understand you feeling like you needed to save one -as they glance cautiously at the little one that you just risked your life for....that you were willing to GIVE your life for......but they really can't understand why you would go for another. Haven't you sacrificed enough? Some are even saying that you are selfish! They are saying that when you race into that house, it makes them uncomfortable. It distracts them from the things that they have to think about that day. You try to reason with them, but their faces are full of pity for you! Pity that you have obviously lost all common sense. That you have stepped out of where God would want you to be....

The agony builds in your heart as you pause in indecision...these are the people you love and trust! You glance back at the first tiny group - the ones that raced to embrace the child that you carried out...the ones that prayed while you are in there....and they stand up from their kneeling position and form a circle around you. They place their gentle hands on you and tell you, "Go. We know they are in there. Go, we will pray you through." Then they silently go back to ministering to the child you rescued and to their kneeling positions. Their faces filled with trust in your Father - yet anxiousness for the children still in the building.

You turn again to the larger crowd and plead with them to understand. But they only become more adamant in their opposition to you. There is no convincing them. They yell, "You cannot do this alone and we will not support you!" You cry as your heart breaks. But then you glance at that building again and you picture those little ones trapped in their cribs. You let out one final scream of agony over those who do not understand, and you turn......

and race back into that burning building.

Until He comes....To Christ be all glory, honor, and power!

19 comments:

  1. I am bawling!! This is EXACTLY how my life feels. In your eloquence, you have said what I have been struggling to express, figure out, deal with. Thank you!!

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    1. Thank you. I can't tell you how many times I have stared at the screen and the words just wouldn't come. This time, He gave me the words. To Christ be the glory!

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  2. Amy, this is an amazing post.....and so true....keep running in my friend, we have your back

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    1. Thank you, Kelly. That brought tears to my eyes - you are a faithful and true friend!

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  3. This is possibly the best post I've read (said through tears) that expresses just how it feels to me. I've been praying for clarity today...and this just hit me in the heart.

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  4. yes... clarity.... encouragement....resolve.... the Fathers love... thank you for this thank you!
    as we see some around us "withhold" their support as we are "running into the flames ourselves"
    God uses those who's hearts are melted with His to remind us
    that we are not alone! so thankful for those who spur us on!
    thank you so much!
    we are trying to bring 2 treasures home from that burning building!

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  5. Thank you so much for writing this! Really been battling the discouragment of nobody listening to me lately! new in my journey and trying to keep from getting frustrated! But I know God is calling my name, and I will help these children!

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  6. Amy, outstanding post, and I will be sharing it. Love to you, friend.

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  7. Wow! This is really good and it says it all. IT is like this! I have realized how hard it is going to be to go see our girls and be able to turn and leave all the others who are begging for it to be their turn. Trying to prepare for the heartbreak and also for the possibility of going back a second time. Thank you for this post.

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  8. What an amazing post! Thank you for sharing!

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  9. That is exactly the feeling! Written beautifully. Thank you!

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  10. What an amazing way to look at this! I am not an adoptive mom, though I hope to foster children here in the US someday.

    Beautiful!

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  11. God bless you and your beautiful family. Bless all of you who read this and have taken in a child in need. Please know, though, that not everyone is called upon by God to do that. We all have different missions, and just because we haven't added adopted children to our own full house does not mean that we aren't doing God's work as well, in our own way. I respect and bless you for your giant heart. I just hope you understand that your special calling is YOUR special calling. Those of us who have been called for something else should not be likened to people who would let children die in a burning building. I respect your path. I just hope you can respect that other paths have equal value.

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  12. Dear Anonymous -

    My best friend is a missionary in Paupa New Guinea. I cannot imagine doing what she and her family are doing! When she comes home on furlough, she cries out that the harvest is plentiful and the workers are few - she points out the Scriptures that call us to support this work. When she does this, my response is to ask God how He wants us to fulfill His command to spread the gospel and to support those who do. My response is NOT to ask her to respect the fact that our family has not be called to do so.

    I understand that her call and reminder is reflecting what God has already made clear in His Word. I ask God if He would have us do more - for we are already doing something in obedience - and my husband and I pray and discuss it together.

    I REJOICE! that she is willing to phsically be the "hands and feet" for this particular area! I REJOICE that it frees me (and others up) to be the physical fulfilment of another part of His plan. I can truly delight in how she is serving - and fulfil how God wants me to support her ministry with joy overflowing!

    Please REJOICE that a family is fulfulling this task so that you can fulfill whatever it is that God has asked you to do. Please study Scripture to see His heart for the fatherless and the orphan and then do exactly what He is asking you to do. PLEASE do not waste precious time stirring up controversy where there is none.

    Please reread the "story" above. Notice that not everyone is running into the building. Notice the call is for "help" - not for everyone to run into that building. Notice the critcism is of those who do nothing but attack those that are running into that building.

    Please read my other posts in which I clearly state that not everyone is called to adopt. Please have a gentle and loving heart to those around you instead of assuming offense where there is none. Not only is there none implied on my blog - I specifcally state that not everyone is called to adopt - but everyone is called to do whatever God directs them to. Please show respect to me by reading what I have said, not reading into it something that is not there.

    My assumption is that we are serving the same precious Lord - let us work together to His glory.

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  13. I came to this post from Susanna's blog, and am so glad I did. Well, glad in the big picture; I am still really heart-raw at the moment, struggling with my own sinfullness and begging God to please grow me. . . and yet not wanting to grow too much, too far, too scarily. I feel led to share what I wrote in response to your post--it might be helpful to someone else also struggling, or maybe you would like to see the powerful effect of your imagery played out in my heart. http://www.oblesseday.blogspot.com/2012/09/adoption-giveaway-last-day.html

    Blessed

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    1. Dear Blessed ~

      Your honesty and openness is a blessing to me! Your struggles and feelings describe exactly the path that we have walked before plunging "headlong into the depths of the terror" - what an exact description!

      Honestly, my husband and I know that without God first giving us a biological child with severe special needs, we never would have made that plunge - no matter how long and hard we talked about it! Our "talking" about it before our daughter was born helped us through shock (we didn't know she would have SN until she was born)- but we couldn't have taken that plunge without His Hand leading - even pushing us! - off the cliff.

      Please know that this is truly an area that God prepares the ones He has called - NOT that He calls those that are prepared! Don't see too much greatness in those who are doing this - only see the greatness of our Father! He asks, we jump - THEN He catches us in His grace. If He has not asked you to jump - don't search for the courage to do it - you probably will not find it! He gives us the ability to do what He has called us to do - not the ability to do what He has called others to. (I could not live in Paupa New Guinea with my best friend as a missionary! Unless He called us to...) You are glorifying Him and supporting the fatherless through your prayers and in asking others to pray. How thankful I am for that!

      Another thought, He does engrave very specific children on our hearts - to the point that their needs do not seem to matter as much as getting them into our arms. Again, this is His grace guiding us and strengthing us. I have been just as guilty of mentally setting a child "aside" - if you read my post "I Know What Breaks God's Heart....it's Me." You will see God's chastening of my heart for thinking that.

      The other thing He burnt into my heart is that I - ME -I am the one with that horrifying diagnosis. Without God's grace, I would be the one calling for the crucifying of the Savior - I had spurned Him, spit on Him, and driven the nails into His Hands! Yet, He chose in His grace to adopt me as His child - the one who would have killed Him in my sin. How can I do any less for a child - IF He asked me to? I am thankful -truly relieved! - and thankful He has not asked me to embrace a child with RAD, etc - yet.

      But in a touch of irony, one of the things I had claimed that I could not do is parent a child with autism. Guess what? One of my children is on the autism spectrum...we did not even suspect this at the time he joined our family. God knew I would fail completely to leap off that cliff...so He gave him to me first and then revealed that.

      You are on the right path...you are asking God to soften your heart to whatever He is asking you. Trust Him to do that - in His time and in the direction He would have you go. It may or may not be adoption - but you are glorifying Him with your prayers and willingness.

      May God richly bless you! To Him be all glory, honor, and praise!

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  14. Beautiful...inspiring...thank you for taking the time to write this post.

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  15. This was a great post and I totally feel the same way. The way that God moves you may be different than your loved ones, but you must listen to him.

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  16. Wonderful post. Thank you for writing and sharing. i love that there are those who race into the buildings and there are those who pray & support in other ways... i am one of those who, at the moment, can only support but i know that this is where God wants me to be for now... maybe one day He will call me to race into the building too... God bless you and your family...

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