Because people have asked for our blog who have never met us before, I thought it would be good to share a bit of our story....We will see how far I get before kiddos are up this morning. :)
Handsome and I met when I was just 17 and he was 21 at a church group for post grads. He mistakenly thought I had just graduated from college....not high school. We were married about 2 1/2 years later...and the adventure began!
We had talked in general about adoption and agreed it should be somewhere in our future...after we were "done" having kids. How God must smile at our plans....He knows so much better and plans even greater things than we could ever dream up.....even in our wildest dreams. But He also knows that the redemption road requires hardship and pruning and pain to tear our eyes off ourselves and place them on the glorious Redeemer.
After trying for several years to get pregnant, we were told my endometriosis was bad enough that it would be very difficult to have children. I was heartbroken! Even as wonderful people tried to tell me that God had a better plan, I could not imagine how keeping me from being a mother could be turned into good. I was angry and extremely bitter. I just saw a life of emptiness stretching before me.....Infertility is a very lonely road to walk.
I immediately began looking into our options for adoption. International adoption seemed to be so far our of our financial reach, we didn't even consider it. Plus, I wanted a BABY....not an older child. I came across information on foster adoption and read a newspaper article. I was instantly convinced this was what we were supposed to do! As I have learned to recognize God's leading in our lives, I can look back and see it was one of those moments that God burned His leading on my heart. Handsome (and our families) was not so convinced. We even had someone very close to us offer us $10,000 toward a "normal" adoption, if we would just not pursue foster care. Looking back, I can completely understand all their fears and concerns - but I was so convinced at the time, it didn't matter - now I know God was calling!
But what began was not a quick trip to adoption, but God starting to teach me to wait on His timing and to trust Him to lead Handsome's heart when it was time. I am ashamed to look back at my tears and "temper tantrums" trying to convince Handsome that this was what we were supposed to be doing. I wasn't seeking Him and asking Him to use the situation to make us more like Him. I just cried and stormed and argued and begged both God and Handsome....very much like a small child who is mad at her parents. Ladies, if you are reading this and have a reluctant husband, please listen! What you need to do is PRAY - God will change your husband's heart, not you! Your sneaky (but really not so sneaky) nagging, arguments, or attempts at emotional manipulation will only drive him farther away, it will not change his heart. Please trust me on this one! You need to trust God - He knows your husband even better than you do....
I had first seen the information in January of 1997 and there was a new training class in February - I was ready to start, already calculating how quickly we could get a baby home. But Handsome said, "No." I couldn't believe it! I was so convinced it was what we should do, how could he say, "No"? I spent a lot of months in misery, praying for a miracle pregnancy - but not a change of heart for Handsome, or faith to wait and trust. I was so miserable! I wish I could say that I allowed God to use this to teach me submission to Him, trust in His perfect plan, and trust in His timing....but I just kept searching and pushing at closed doors, like someone trapped in darkness. I did not praise Him for whatever He had planned - I just continued to beg and cry.
In July of 1997, I got a phone call from the foster adopt program saying that they were starting another round of training - were we interested? I told the woman "no". Handsome seemed just as convinced as ever to just "wait and see". I just happened to mention it to him later that day - almost as a second thought. He shocked me by saying he wanted to talk about it during our trip to the beach....